I don't understand...

Another 48 hours...another roller coaster!  

We got word yesterday morning that the probate officer in charge of our case did not approve H taking care of O.  The reason being the difficulty and complication that it would cause in our adoption case.  It would add months to our process.  They did, however, suggest we go with a babies home (we call them orphanages) that we are familiar with.  VERY familiar with.  It is the one that Josh was standing in the day we felt lead to adopt from Uganda.  The one we felt so pulled to in the beginning and were upset we couldn't use.  Interesting...

I was really upset...I just loved H so much.  And we felt sure that this was what God wanted.  How could it change so quickly???  And why?  Josh quickly reminded me that God sees the big picture and that there has to be a good reason for this change.  I know he is right.  I take the time to pray for a change in perspective, and start to appreciate the opportunity into the babies home.  I wonder if we can even get O in...because they aren't accepting international applications at this time.  

Our lawyer called later in the afternoon to let us know that the administrator approved O coming in.  That he would be at the babies home, and have our names written all over him.  They will allow him to reside there as our son.

What a relief!!!  We know he will be safe.  We know he will be fed and cared for.  And our lawyer is so great...it was 9pm her time when she called.  We have a lot to be thankful for.

Then...we got an email from a man in Uganda who is well known by everyone we have spoken with.  This man is an advocate for orphans...and the man who took the picture of O that was sent to us.  He is working with our lawyer and is tied to a lot of adoptions there.  We reached out to him (via facebook, of course, because everyone on earth has a FB, huh?) to see if he knew how O was doing.  He replied with honesty and let us know that O is not doing well.  There are some details that I can't share here, but he is not being nourished and cared for.  He thinks that O is in harms way.  

WHAT CAN WE DO???  How can we help our son???  I have to get there and make things right.  But, I can't.  So...we prayed...and we prayed...and we texted friends and familiy to pray...and we put a post on facebook for prayer...and then we prayed.  Josh called him after receiving his email and asked if there was anything else we could do.  We have already sent the money required to go the proper legal channels and get him to the babies home.  We understand that we have to pay for transportation and legal fees.  But, does he think that O will be OK until Monday?  How bad is the situation?  He says that he thinks O will be OK until Monday.  He says that we have already done everything we can to get him out of there as quickly as possible.  Then he reminded us of something:

GOD LOVES O MORE THAN WE EVER COULD.  I know that.  I know God loves all of us more than we can understand.  Gracie, me, Josh...all of us.  I have always found comfort in that.

But...today...I REST IN THAT ALONE.  I have done everything I can.  I will continue to pray and ask that you join me.  

God does see the big picture.  He is using this situation to teach us something and I will NOT allow the lesson to pass me by without getting it.  My Mom reminded me that we don't always have to understand why things happen.  And I agree.  If that alone is what I am learning...that I don't have to get it.  Then, I get that I don't have to get it.  Did I lose anybody there?  What I mean is...If God is telling me that I don't have to figure it all out...then I give!!!  I totally understand that to be true.  Sometimes we don't know the answers.  Sometimes we don't NEED to know the answers.

So, I will REST IN HIM.  I don't always understand God, but I DO ALWAYS TRUST HIM.  And remember that God is in control.  Uganda is too far for me to drive or walk for sure.  But, prayers know no distance.  

I look forward to Monday.  When I can post and tell you that O is safe and in the babies home.

Thank you for your prayers and support.
We love each of you

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."

Proverbs 3:5-6

To our sweet O,

Mommy and Daddy want to hold you so badly.  We dream about the day we get to put your little hand in ours.  The day we get to tell you in person that we love you.  We think about you all the time. 

Love, Mom