We can't help but think about what this all means. Is he preparing us for something? What is it gonna be??? Is it a big something? Or a little something??? Is it a someONE? Or a someTHING? Or a some WAY? WHAT IS HE UP TO?
I keep feeling like God is telling me clearly though...LIVE IN TODAY. I am on mission right now. In McKinney, Texas. At my house. On walks. Running errands. Why is this so hard for me?
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:34 (The Message)
One of our family's most important phrases to remember is "One day at a time." Take it as it comes. And I'm really not "worried" about tomorrow. I trust that God has awesome plans. We are choosing to follow Him today, and tomorrow I believe we will make that same choice upon rising. At least I KNOW I will and that is all I need to know. So, I know that he will take care of us. Totally get that.
The thing is...I like to plan. I like to prepare. Surprises are nice for my birthday and anniversary...but I like to be able to know what is coming. And when I plan for what is coming...I get sucked into this...process. I play out the "what ifs" and the "just in cases". And I get all wrapped up.
Wrapped up in tomorrow. Then, there is waking up, getting dressed (X3), brushing teeth (X3), eating breakfast (X3), going to school, doing tasks, pick up, clean up, lunch, dinner, baths, bed, blah, blah, blah...and the day is over. And I "thought" the day away. Instead of being present.
It seems like one of my biggest daily struggles is living in "auto pilot". I go through the day to day and don't really feel like I am "in it". Just kinda "doing it". If that makes sense...
So, lately, I am giving it my best to change that. TO BE PRESENT. APPRECIATE THE BLESSINGS IN TODAY. This means I MUST start out with prayer. Must. And I have to remind myself regularly. I have good days. And bad days (we will call today a not so great day on my part). But, I am really trying.
Because I get to be married to Josh, Mommy to Gracie and Owen, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend to some of the most AMAZING people ever to live. My life is LOADED with blessings. And it is time to realllly appreciate them. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
WHO'S WITH ME???
To my sweet Owen,
Well, son...you weren't very "sweet" this afternoon...and this evening. You were a little bit of a handful. But, you know what? I love you more today than yesterday. And I am pretty sure that tomorrow...I will love you even more than today. You are my son. And you are so amazing. I praise and thank God for blessing me with you. And one day...one day...you WILL learn how to listen. RIGHT?!?!
Love you more,