Listening...

I love how God whispers into our lives.  Sometimes he also shouts loudly.  There are times I hear him...and there are times I don't.  I always want to, but it seems like there is always something keeping me busy so I, unfortunately, fail to catch it.  I am trying SO hard to hear this lately.  And this week, He has told me some things through music.  The following lyrics have really spoken to my heart this week.  I'm not sure of the original composer of all of them, so I will just list the lyrics and hope they speak to you too.

Take me as you find me.
All my fears and failures.
And fill my life again.

Jesus paid it all.
All to Him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

O praise the one who
Paid my debt
And raised this life
up from the dead.

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
But I gotta trust you know exactly what you're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff you use.

I'm not sure if you see a pattern in these...they are kinda jumpy and random...and all over the place.  Kinda like me.  I am happy.  My life is amazing.  Full of blessings...really busting at the seams.  So...why is it that I am overwhelmed?  Why am I stressed?  I know there is a lot going on with Owen, Gracie, Josh's work schedule, our transition, being a stay at home Mom now.  There is A LOT going on. BUT none of that is what matters most.  What matters most is that I have the most amazing savior.  The most amazing friend.  The most amazing healer.  The most amazing father.  The most amazing sustainer. The most amazing God that I CAN TRUST.  All in one...He is all of those things and more.
Tonight's Ash Wednesday service was exactly what I needed.  Clarity...and alone time with HIM.  It felt like there was a moment in there where it was just ME AND HIM...nobody else.  And He knows my heart.  I didn't even have to try to explain it...cause He just knows.  And I felt peace.  And stillness...something I have really been missing.
I am committing to spend an hour with Him - just the two of us - before the rest of my family wakes up.  So we can have our time together.  This is my lent promise.  I guess you could say I am "giving up" my sleep at 5 or 6am in order to be with Him.  May seem like an odd thing to do for lent - shouldn't I be giving up ice cream, chocolate, or processed foods???
This is what I felt He wanted from me.  Do you feel like He wants something from you?

Here are a few pics from our recent trip with family to Dallas Blooms.  GREAT time!  I think the kids really enjoyed it.  The guys weren't really into it until a hawk came down and showed them the circle of life - at the expense of a squirrel.  Then...they thought it was the coolest trip ever.

To our sweet Owen,
I know I keep writing it - but you really do get cuter and cuter.  You scratched your cornea yesterday and I had to take you to Acute Kids to have you checked out.  Who knew having a patch over your eye would make you even cuter than you were without.  You are so tough...such a strong little man.  You also crack me up in the morning lately b/c you keep checking yourself out in the mirror and dancing.  You are quite the bouncer when you dance.  You make me laugh so hard.
Love you more,
Mommy