People find Owen to be fascinating. They really do. I am surprised how much attention he gets...and I think it is because people (even strangers) want to know his story. They see us together and smile and talk and compliment on how beautiful my family is. Some people ask questions and some people don't, but you can tell they want to. Those of you who know me, know that I am pretty much an open book. Unless sharing information is going to hurt someone, I am happy to share it. If it is about us, of course. :)
I feel like we have been through so much in our lives...our "family" lives. That is, since Josh and I married. God has MOVED in our lives and I just can't help but want to share that with others. Josh and I both agree that if we don't share our stories, then we aren't allowing God to be glorified or showing how amazing he has been in our lives. This is, of course, not for everyone. And that is just fine. Not everyone shares as much as we do. It IS for us though. Probably even TMI at times...but it is who we are! Right?
Anyway...in thinking of that, I realize that most people ask the same questions. Typically, these questions don't offend me one bit. It would take a lot to offend me...and the couple times that has happened since we've been home...I have chosen to brush it off and call it lack of understanding or knowledge. I can appreciate people asking questions...it shows that they care, that they find it interesting, or maybe God is using that time to show someone something. Seeing and hearing of other people's adoption stories made a big impact on my own and if I can do that for someone else...I would be honored.
For those of you who want to respect boundaries, be careful not to offend, or slip and say something "wrong" - here they are! The questions most people ask me. I thank these people for their consideration and kindness. And hope you enjoy MY OPINION on the answers. That's right...I'm not always right and don't always say the right thing. Please keep in mind that these are MY answers and may not be answers for another adoptive family. We are all different, you know?
Why Uganda?
This is the easiest question. We adopted from Uganda because that is where our son was. We prayed for a long time before deciding to adopt. We asked God to show us the child that he had for us...boy, girl, black, white, brown, toddler, baby...just bring us together. And he made it VERY clear that our child was in Uganda. And then he lead us straight to Owen.
Will you go back with Owen to Uganda?
We really do hope to go back with our whole family one day. We would love to go together and do some mission work. We will most likely wait several years and go when all of our children are older. Between now and then...Josh and I do plan on as many trips there as God will allow. We both feel VERY lead to go back and be the hands and feet of God. We have both fallen in love with Uganda and the people there.
Will you adopt again?
We have both given up on planning things. But, we do both feel like God may have plans for us to adopt again. And we are prayerful about it. We don't think that this will be for a few years, but who knows!
Is Owen healthy?
Yes! Praise the Lord! He is so healthy that I consider it nothing short of a miracle! We did not find out until we got to Uganda that Owen is HIV-, does not have active TB, does not have asthma, does not even have parasites, and does not have anything else that we are aware of for that matter. We thank and praise God for it! He did contract Malaria before we got to him, but he also overcame it before we got to him.
Would you have still adopted Owen if he was HIV+?
Absolutely without a doubt. We both talked about it and decided to go forward regardless of his HIV status. This also forced us to research the topic and we found the following facts: There has NEVER been a case of one child getting HIV from another child in the U.S. NOT ONE. HIV can only be transmitted by blood and sometimes breastfeeding. So, not by kissing, hugging, vomit, poop, or touching of any kind. Also, with the amazing meds we have in the country, a child who is HIV+ can actually go into a kind of remission and no longer have the active virus in their blood. We know of several people who have adopted children who are HIV+, and we have seen this happen. These children most likely would have died before seeing their toddler years in Africa. And now, it is likely that they can die of old age.
How is Gracie transitioning?
She is taking it about how she would have taken a younger sibling had I been pregnant. Of course, this younger sibling doesn't sleep all the time, likes to take her toys, and wants more attention. She wasn't too thrilled with sharing her toys and space...and still isn't very happy about that. But, she loves Owen and he loves her. They share a very cool bond that I am noticing to be stronger and stronger. If one of them is in a crowded room and the other cries...they come running. They protect one another and show love to one another. They do also bicker like any sibling would. It is loud at our house...VERY loud. And I am told that this will probably not change. And I am starting to accept it. :)
Is it OK to say he is "black"?
This isn't something that we talk about often. It just doesn't really come up at home...simply because it isn't really of huge importance in our day to day life. Other than the fact that he needs to be rubbed down with lotion daily, it makes no difference to us. With that said, he IS black. Just like Gracie IS white. And we love that about both of them. Owen is so very handsome and we love him the way God made him. So, nope...doesn't bother me one bit. We love that he is Ugandan and will include that in all of our lives. I LOVE that Gracie's skin is so white and that his is so black. One of my favorite pictures of all time is one of their hands touching. God is the most amazing artist, sculptor, and creator, isn't he???
How much did it cost?
When it was all said and done, our adoption ended up costing us around 15,000-16,000 US dollars. God provided every penny of it. Through donations, shirt sales, garage sales, and friends and family. We had nothing when we started and everything when we finished.
Do you think Gracie will be upset she doesn't have a blog?
No. Gracie has tons of things from her first 2 years of life. She has notes (I write her handwritten notes regularly through out the year), some bloggage (is that a word?), tons of saved keepsakes, baby pics, footprints and handprints, Christmas ornaments, and lots of other things. From the time she was born to now. I will probably be writing notes for their lunch boxes well into their high school years (like my Mommy did). :)
That is all I can think of for now. I would be happy to answer any others. One thing I request is that you not ask the questions in front of the kiddos. A question that doesn't bother me may not be a good question for our kids to hear. People often say what a lucky little boy Owen is. That just isn't true. WE are BLESSED far beyond what we could have ever dreamed by becoming Owen and Gracie's parents. God knew that he had this in store for us from the time we were in our own parents wombs. And we are so thankful for that.
I'll leave you with a few of our favorite family pics. God bless!
To our sweet Owen,
You are getting so big! You are really catching up...size 2T pants today and size 9 shoe already! You are speaking more and more. And the random "I love ya Mom" moments that we share melt me. Your personality cracks me up. Your sense of humor is so much like your Daddy's. We look forward to what each day holds with you in it. You are also becoming very protective of me and Gracie. It is like you want to take care of us already. Your heart is so big...and your smile is even bigger. Anyone who hears you laugh can't help but smile too.
Love you more,
Mommy
